father what if

Ive played with the  devils friends , there should I forget
That my god has laid to rest the father I long for..
           Now that I give my heart a blow of breaths I  
shackled with razor blades shall I beg that my bag full
of broken dreams challenge my rally of faith  
covering my fold of clovers dressed in gestures of what if  
my fathers hand reached down and picked me up, would i play
 dead..
 
Now that I search for a breath of familiar seeds  
Ive sewn  along the bargaining trenched in borrowed
penance  my blood spilled my burdens along the
mantels reach of my torturing fall, fore now I may wonder
farther into yonders place of gods whispers were my Father
laid beautiful in a smile i long for