deepundergroundpoetry.com
Lightly
Lightly you did enter
at first merely a thought
but steadily each day it seems
you are closer to my heart
what is this fascination
that has me in it's grip
fighting to keep my balance
as my deck begins to tip
tossed about relentlessly
the loving waves begin to crush
all the weight pressed down on me
oh it's such a rush
at first merely a thought
but steadily each day it seems
you are closer to my heart
what is this fascination
that has me in it's grip
fighting to keep my balance
as my deck begins to tip
tossed about relentlessly
the loving waves begin to crush
all the weight pressed down on me
oh it's such a rush
Published 22nd Jan 2015
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comments 4
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22nd Jan 2015 2:37am
Love does escalate and gather momentum. She enters lightly, then "the loving waves begin to crush." There's all that weight. Is that rush exhilarating or terrifying? Or suffocating? Makes me wonder.... Fascinating work, Scot.
22nd Jan 2015 1:37pm
thank you so much Crowfly! For reading and giving such an insightful comment!
Cheers! Scot.
Cheers! Scot.
26th Jan 2015 4:30pm
I love how you open this, perfect word choices and details enable the reader to become involved without it becoming over bearing, it's laced with sadness, yet not depressing. The gentle rhyme almost goes unnoticed, carrying the reader on fluidly from line to line. You describe the emotions of falling in love wonderfully.
26th Jan 2015 4:34pm
Thank you very much LJ for this wonderful comment ,I am glad you enjoyed the piece! Cheers! Scot.
