The Ex Rant

Don't tell me 'I stopped caring',
After driving to your work for the third time with your lunch because you were feeling "low" only to find out you weren't there,
I figured someone else must be making your pasta for you.
I made every meal, like each forkful of your precious protein was my own delicate blood,
I organised dates and catch-ups around your gym like it was an unmissable millionaire opportunity,
I scraped my hair up and took my mask of makeup off to make you feel more comfortable,
Only to leave me undesirable,
Unsociable,
Vulnerable.

Don't tell me I 'must of been cheating',
If cheating is looking at nothing and nobody else and glaring ahead when men walked past purposely when I was around you to avoid your pale clenched fists,
Then I must be the biggest sinner out of the two of us.
I struggled for a year after I managed to wriggle away from you, to feel comfortable enough to trust another man with my middle name,
I put up with your blatant unfaithful concealment's for years, sucked it up and stuck around,
I still to this day second guess anything anybody tells me because I know how easy it is for people to pull the wool over my tearful eyes.
Only to leave me defensive,
Offensive,
Apprehensive.

Don't tell them 'I was nothing',
Because when I said I was leaving you cried and begged me to stay,
When I said it was for good you slammed your fists but it only made me run.
I knew what freedom was even though admittedly you still play on my mind,
I can breath without you around my neck like a noose made of apologetic chocolates and cyanide,
I can see now that I don't have my smeared love goggles brutally smashed onto my face.
You left me in pain,
Slain,
But finally, sane.