Two Year Old

Sometimes...I just want to get naked and wreck shit...one woman wrecking crew natural disaster..Tasmanian devil with a ponytail.
Ride the dog
Shove a cheeto in my nose
and spin in circles until I throw up.

I want to throw a full bowl of spaghetti at the face of someone I hate...
and then wear it as a hat
after I drop my left shoe into
the toilet and flush it.

When I'm tired...a whimper and a tear or two
and boom....BOOBS  
for my napping pleasure.

When I don't want to do something someone else's way?
Just refuse.
EFF  you Lincoln Logs.
Don't look like drum sticks if you can't handle AWESOME
And quite frankly why are pots and pans shaped like that if not to be multi tasking jam session enhancers?

Oh it stinks?
HELL YES it was me!!

Yeah I got a ba ba
of ba ba bourbon.
Fill those bottle condoms and let's get sleepy!
Line up ladies!
I've got plenty of kisses for all of you...I just learned how...
A slobbery open mouthed one for you...
I know, it's cute....right?

My greatest achievement of the day?
Swallowing 4 stale MMs  from under the couch cushion
before anyone could finish "get that out of your mouth!"
AND they couldn't even catch me to try and pry it out.
I regret nothing.


Wow...in seeing it all laid out....
Children are just drunken perverted little HR cases aren't they?