are we the same?

You can tear away the curtains
from these burnt and broken windows  
but the dusted light won’t penetrate    
the blackest of my shadows  
where I’ve always kept my secrets swept  
beneath
the faded carpet  
where the darkness
always held me    
as I sat
and lit    
my cigarette    
and wept.  
Hopeless feelings in my heart   
and head  
were madness  
content to have  
the walls    
my only witness    
to the idle words I whispered  
“I know she is a monster, but I    
will always love  
have always loved  
will always want her.”  
You inhale just to feel the cancer  
exhale just to know the answer  
comes from when
you find the dancer  
twirling in your brain  
and ask her if she loves you  
or if you’ve simply
gone insane  
trying to complicate
the things  
that once were clear and plain  
its getting harder to remember  
how once  
we were the same.