I will never love again

A am the illness you can't get rid of.
I'm scared of losing you,
But you love her.
I am the ex that you regret dating.
I am the girl that you hurt.
But I do understand,
Why you dont and never loved me.
I was used,
And I'm afraid you will do the same to her.
She is my best friend,
Yet you feel nothing or care if I'm hurt.
You lie,
You lie about everything.
What am I afraid of?
Its been almost three years since the break up.
Why am I not over it?
I must be broken...
I love you, but you never loved me,
So why am I afraid?
All I can do is watch from a distance,
How she makes you laugh,
How you make her smile,
I know she loves you back,
But she doesn't admit it.
Why am I like this?!
I hate myself for not getting over this fact.
We will never be together again.
I feel the jealousy run through me,
But I can't help it.
I love you.
I know you know I still do.
Its tourcher to watch you with her.
Why must you do this to me?!
I guess its my own fault.
I shouldn't have gotten attached.
Its all my fault.
I will never be able to love again...
And this....
I will have to live with for the rest of my life...