Why Did I Stay?

Why did I stay for so long?
You were not healthy for me,
and you were never going to be
but I tried to convince myself that it was all ok,
but it wasn't ok and it would never be ok.

You would soak your words in anger
and then spit them in my face the moment you didn’t get your way.
Because of you I’m scared,
scared when a man raises his voice at me
because I am afraid they will spit angry words at me as you had.
You wanted what you wanted and you wouldn’t have it another way.

I should have left when I saw your anger,
when I saw who you truly were.
But the thing you called love intoxicated me,
it persuaded me to stay.

But you'd tell me you were sorry
and you'd say it would never happen again,
but you lied,
it happened time and time again.
You'd kiss me and say that it was ok,
that we were ok,
your sweet kiss would intoxicate me
pulling me back in once again,
back into the viperous thing that was our love,
back into the constant ups and downs,
back to the unhealthiness of our relationship.

I should have left much sooner,
I shouldn't have stayed in a relationship that was so unhealthy,
I should never have subjected myself to the abuse you inflicted upon me,
but I did,
I will always regret the mistake I made by staying in your wrathful grip.