My Nightmare

I watched you slice your wrists.
I watched you bleed,
every drop brought you closer to your death.
Why couldn't I stop you?
We had just made love the night before
and already the bruises
I begged you to leave on my body
as a sign of love
were disappering.
Your smell is getting
fainter and fainter
as I stick my face in your pillow,
your clothes.
It's so hard to turn over in bed
and find it occupied with empty space.
I can't fall asleep
without your slow breathing
and your warm hands encircling my body.
I sit in the tub looking at your picture.
I'm holding the same razor
you used.
It's still flecked with your blood.
I put it to my wrist
and I slice deep.
So much blood,
so much pain,
but I don't care.
In a couple moments
I'll be in your arms Jeremy,
telling you
I love you.