Eyes Closed

I try to keep my eyes open
But stress 
makes them heavy
The stress of life,
Of love,
Of education,
Pulls them down
Slowly but surely,
And my eyes will close 

They will close.
But when? 
There's no warning
Nothing to let me know
But the heaviness. 
A beautifully distraught life
That brings me down 
With every aspect 
Of live through scrutiny

But the eyes I see through
Though saturated,
And highly exposed, 
Give me a peculiar 
And glorified vision 
Of what I live in.
The life I invented
For myself
Through modern disbelief 

As beautiful as they seem,
They tend to hurt me
When my mind or heart
Try to lead me 
Through a confused valley
I travel in. 
My eyes deceive me 
Taking me in circles through
This valley.

Blind to reality, 
I am being convinced
By my eyes, 
That I am allergic to truth
Right and wrong
Seem to switch places
And for a short time,
My inefficients seem
To disappear 

But they reappear 
Burning and glazed 
Hotter than ever imagined 
Killing me slowly
But my eyes 
Wont allow me to see 
The actuality 
Of my inefficients 

I haven't noticed 
My eyes have always 
Been shut.
They've always 
Misled me.
Taking me in 
The wrong direction 
Leaving me stranded 
In life.

I wish my eyes
Would cooperate 
With my inner thoughts 
And feelings.
I'd be better off.
No longer trapped in disbelief 
Left to search and seizure
For a life unknown
I would finally have it. 

But, that's not possible 
Till my eyes choose
To reveal reality,
Shed light on truth,
Alibi a common conception, 
And kill my vision 
Of a false life.
For now though,
My eyes are closed.