The Rollercoaster of my emotions.

I'm up
I've had a good day
the sun's shining
everything's okay.
a small remark in passing
or hanging out and feeling
ignored
sees my mood lowered
my happiness destroyed
left feeling frustrated,isolated
and annoyed.
I feel like life should be ENJOYED!..
but I just want to withdraw,
retreat
in the struggle of life
the 'antagonista vita'
I feel heavily beat
suffering from a strong
sense of defeat.
The world feels too harsh
for someone like me,
who breathes in everyone's
vibes like I'm a fish
swimmin'
 in an emotional sea.
I wish I didn't care so much
everything feels too intense for me
but my flesh is torn and bathed
with caustic spray
with every injustice I see.
If I wasn't so emotional
I couldn't put pen to page
couldn't endure the boredom
of working for the slave wage.
soul searching is what got me here
and poetry is my art, ma raison d' etre
it's my talent and the reliable I return to
the one thing I hold dear.
there's others for sure
friends,politics, philosophy Etcetera
but writing is the best thing I can do to keep
sane
in a society that's sick
to endure all the traumas of a world
that burns my self esteem down to its wick.
This is the thing that I think I do best
all the other things I feel sketchy about,
I'm really not sure about the rest..
When words don't flow
I don't know where to turn
or where to go
my rage turns to self hatred
fed by past abuses
my dark side becomes
exposed and naked
I become anti-social
and unhelpful
which absolutely
nae guid.
I have a strong need
to challenge people to
think
and also to communicate
I don't need to contribute
more poetry
just to make you
intellectually masturbate
maybe I have sometimes
and it's already too late
I'm no sure
if I have I'm sorry
that just adds to a thoughtless world
a world without caring or consideration
a world gey grey ,grim and dour
a world worshipping rich and powerful
that despises the poor...
...I think I've went oan enough
the point is if you're a poet
life is hard
and I know for (almost)
everyone
 it's pretty tough
we know that can
only be solved by
improving yourself
being with others
and improving the world
not with buying more stuff
I've often said art is alienated creativity
for a world without dreams
artists need to not just
describe the world
but try to change it
by tearing at
it's weakest seams!