he could be a Marilyn Manson song if he had an ear for poetry

You’re a doll of wax
covered in ash  
there is nothing real  
in your meth amphetamine lies  
 
I’m a cigarette that’s burning out
too fast  
fading into the night sky  
dead smoke and dreams  
 
There is no ambition here  
beyond the will to stay alive
I’ve been waiting for better
since before rehab raped  
what was left of my soul  
and that was ten years ago  
 
We are one with the nothingness
and I shouldn’t have to tell you  
not to listen to the whispers across  
the chem lab table  
they come with a death sentence  
though tonight it won’t be us  
it’ll just be the dreams we let fade away  
for a better escape  
 
You don’t know who you are  
and I don’t want to remember  
who I was  
back in the days when I was all smiles
for the cops  
whiskey and bongs  
hidden under the bed sheets  
as they stalked through the halls
 
I never did tell you  
my virginity got lost in the couch  
so I guess you win there  
we both know you’ve tasted love
though it fucked you like all the other drugs  
that sit under your nasal cavity  
and promised just as much  
for a different price  
 
I’m still as loveless  
as I ever was  
but unlike you I’ve let that dream  
sail into the night sky where it belongs  
because people like us
we’re never going to be whole  
 
And sometimes the best we can hope for  
are better days  
the ones where we aren’t bleeding  
the ones where we can pretend we’re not broken  
 
Because we’re no better than the lies  
we tell ourselves  
and for you  
I guess that’s enough  
to be at one with the dishonesty in your veins  
 
But me  
I never wanted this life  
and I know deep down  
you’re better than this  
 
© Indie Adams 2014