to the girl at my school that committed suicide, dear cora

Dear Cora,
no, I never knew you, but i saw you, I smiled at you.
I never knew you were drowning in an ocean of hopelessness
I never knew, that tears stained you face like blood on white sheets,
I never knew you cut yourself on those white sheets
I never knew the world wrapped around your neck and crushed your shoulders,
Cora I didn't know you were hurting
With a face so kind and eyes like brown butterflies,
nobody knew those butterflies almost drowned every night
I went to your candle lighting, I cried, I prayed for mercy upon your soul,
because I remember the tides of the ocean of hopelessness,
I cut my wrist on those white sheets,
I know what it feels like to have the world wrap around your neck and crush your shoulders...but I would never know what it feels like to kick the chair,
someone had so much love in there heart, so much that they would've held your heart in their hands and fill it with love, someone had the heart to wipe tears from your face and stay with you until your tears turned to white marks on your face,
that someone was at your candlelighing, shedding tears and praying for mercy on your soul
although our lips never traded words,
we exchanged side smiles,
pains me to know that you're gone now.
I didn't know you, but if I did , I would tell you that dark places will swallow you up and leave you broken and wounded when returned, it will make you feel so wounded, alone.
I would tell you, if you cannot find god in the darkness, to feel for me, i'll be there writing poems so full of hurt my words would beed as my tears reached them.
I would hug you, tell you that you're not alone, tell you that i'm just like you.
just not brave enough to complete the task that you're willing to, to make the pain stop.
I would've laid my arm next to yours, just to prove to you, that i too feel so empty
Cora it pains me to know that, your seat will be empty when we are called for graduation.
hurts me to know that  the so many words i've wasted, i couldn't spare a few of them to a stranger that needed them the most,
but you looked so normal.
i'm sorry cora.