Arguments You Can Never Win,,,Arguments That Will Never Matter,,,

Since The Dawn Of Time,,,Man Has Argued Over These Things,,,
Should He Play With Fire,,,Should He Walk In The Rain,,,
Should He Try To Stay,,,Dry And Warm,,,
Should He Build Him A House,,,To Keep Him From Harm,,,
For These Are All The Things,,,That Mattered To Him,,,
But Then Came The 20th Century,,,So Let The Quandry Begin,,,
And Now He Has To Argue,,,Over Unimportant Things,,,
Like Can I Borrow A Cup Of Sugar,,,Or A Cup Of Detergent,,,
But None Of These Things,,,Have Ever Been As Urgent,,,
So He Invented Toilet Paper,,,To Wipe His Rear,,,
And This Invention Brings,,,The Argument Most Feared,,,
This Is The Argument,,,That Has Plagued Mankind,,,
Since The First Roll Of Paper,,,Came Off Of The Assembly Line,,
And Since The First Roll Of Paper,,,Flew Off Of The Shelf,,,
At The Local Piggly Wiggly,,,I Just Can't Help Myself,,,
And Which Is The Correct Way,,,To Place This Roll,,,
This Is An Argument,,,That Has Taken It's Toll,,,
Should It Roll Over The Top,,,Towards The Toilet,,,
Or Should It Go Over The Top,,,Towards The Wall And Floor,,,
Or Does It Even Matter,,,To Tell You The Truth,,,I Just Don't Know,,,
And Yet,,,I have The Greatest Argument Of All,,,
As To Why,,,The Toilet Paper Should Face The Wall,,,
Ever Since The Beginning Of Time,,,
Spiders And Scorpions Have Plagued Us All,,,
And If You Should Happen To Find One Upon The Roll,,,
You Would Want To Scrape It Off On The Wall,,,
So That It Would Fall Down,,,Upon The Floor,,,
You Would Not Want To Be,,,Pulling It Towards You,,,
While You Sit On The Throne,,,
As You Dispense The Proper Amount Of Paper,,,
For The Job At Hand,,,
And Cause You To Scream Like A Woman,,,
When You Know That Your A Man,,,
So This Is The Quandry,,,That The 20th Century Brings,,,
And You Might Take Into Consideration,,,All Of These,,,
Along With All Of The Other,,,Semi-Important Things,,,
So Facing The Wall Is The Only Way,,,
That My Toilet Paper,,,Will Ever Be Displayed,,,
And You Might Just Think,,,How Stupid Can I Be,,,
But I Will Never Have,,,These Critters On Me,,,
I Mean Actually,,,How Many Times,,,Does A Bug Get On A Roll,,,
Why Are You Asking Me,,,How Am I Supposed To Know,,,
But There Are Millions Of Bugs,,,And Millions Of Rolls,,,
So Chances Are Probably Greater,,,Than You'll Ever Know,,,
But I Do Believe That Bugs,,,Like To Take A Ride,,,
Down The Charmin Express,,,
And Now,,,All Of My Concerns,,,
Have All Been Expressed,,,
So Towards The Wall,,,My Toilet Paper,,,
Will Always Be,,,
And I Will Never Have Any,,,
Of These Critters On Me,,,,,