Stone Cold To The Core: The Playground Shooting

 
Mary may have been a saint, but she was stone cold to the core.  I'd walk past her every morning on my way to class and she'd just stare at me like a dumb bitch and not say a word.

One day I had enough of her dirty looks, so I spat on her as we crossed paths. I got her with a big green oyster, watched it drip down her face and all the kids laughed.  The school principal saw the whole thing and I was suspended.

That following Sunday after church, I walked up the school driveway with my little brother, carrying a length of rope and my dads .22 rifle.  There was Mary, looking as dumb as ever out the front of the school.  This time there was no one around to protect her and no kids to stare and laugh.

We tied the rope around Mary’s neck and dragged her down to the football field.  I threw the rope over the crossbar and hauled her heavy ass off the ground.  We watched her swinging in the wind, and waited for her to stop moving before we loaded the gun.  We fired shot after shot into her body, until we ran out of bullets.

Any cries for help would have been drowned out by the thunder from a brewing storm, but it was too late for that anyway, because she was already dead.  And when it started to rain, I knew that she was too heavy to lower down with the rope now wet and the knots slippery and swollen.  So we left her there dripping, hoping any fingerprints would wash away in the rain.

On Monday the cops and reporters were at the school.  Mary MacKillop was already taken down from the football goal crossbar. The cops counted bullet holes, while the reporters were recorded and photographers took photos.  The school principal, Brother Bernard, was furious at the school assembly, moaning on about how the statue of Mary MacKillop would have to be re-sculptured from a single piece of marble imported from Italy.

The shooting of the statue saint was famous in our town, but nobody knew our names.  I didn’t really care, I just had to figure out how to replace my dad’s ammo.
 
 
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