deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Void
I fell into the abyss.
It happened suddenly,
Without warning or fanfare.
Before I knew it,
I was enveloped and swaddled
In a vast and empty stillness.
The silence held secrets.
Words, shrouded in secrecy,
Hoarsely whispered their meanings in my ear.
At first, I struggled and fought,
Kicked with all my might,
Convinced of my conviction.
I raged at the inherent attributes of absence,
Terrified by its casual desolation.
But,
Gradually I saw the true nature of the void.
It was infinitely compassionate and gentle.
It offered me solace and asked nothing in return.
I gave myself up.
I let go.
I drifted away into placid oblivion.
It was so easy.
It made perfect sense.
Weightless and tranquil, I ceased to exist.
It happened suddenly,
Without warning or fanfare.
Before I knew it,
I was enveloped and swaddled
In a vast and empty stillness.
The silence held secrets.
Words, shrouded in secrecy,
Hoarsely whispered their meanings in my ear.
At first, I struggled and fought,
Kicked with all my might,
Convinced of my conviction.
I raged at the inherent attributes of absence,
Terrified by its casual desolation.
But,
Gradually I saw the true nature of the void.
It was infinitely compassionate and gentle.
It offered me solace and asked nothing in return.
I gave myself up.
I let go.
I drifted away into placid oblivion.
It was so easy.
It made perfect sense.
Weightless and tranquil, I ceased to exist.
Published 30th Oct 2014
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The author encourages honest critique.
30th Oct 2014 1:27am
This is a happy poem. The person slipping into the void seems happy about it towards the end, and there is no mention of anything he or she had considered of value being left behind. As death is the most common factor of all lives, I'd say this poem has a pretty bright outlook, unless one must have an afterlife. It's not a painful death, though frightening at first.
The poem is pretty well worded, though in the fourth stanza, I think "Words, shrouded in secrecy" is a little redundant coming right after "The silence held secrets." The third line of that stanza describes the way the words are transmitted well enough that "Words, shrouded in secrecy" could just be "Words,".
Overall, I like this poem. I guess it could still be considered dark, though in the grand scheme of things, no death occurs too early except perhaps in the opinions of the immediate sense.
The poem is pretty well worded, though in the fourth stanza, I think "Words, shrouded in secrecy" is a little redundant coming right after "The silence held secrets." The third line of that stanza describes the way the words are transmitted well enough that "Words, shrouded in secrecy" could just be "Words,".
Overall, I like this poem. I guess it could still be considered dark, though in the grand scheme of things, no death occurs too early except perhaps in the opinions of the immediate sense.
1st Nov 2014 00:26am
This depicts falling into depression very well. It grasped my soul as I fell into the abyss with this poem. You're just fantastic!
