Remembrance

Dont tell anyone
there is a gnarling beast scratching at my door
my mind
my solitude

it either whispers or screams
both crawl and dig into the very being of my soul
telling me to die
to give up on this giftless abominant struggle

I gaze into the black
Viewing  my dying breath
Sitting on the mountain side
hearkining nostalgic flashbacks

Times that were less black
but still black none the less
endlessly wanting to return

As I lay here
in this infinite hole of guilt and remembrance
with colorless pills and needles
knives and liquids
maybe if I embrace them
I will return