URGE

Foreclosed with four weeks
to forget , I found a box of toys
in the icy attic filled with bottles
of massage oil, tubes of lube,
garters, masquerade masks,
purple feather boas, plush pink
hand cuffs, incense. steel cock
rings ,and cherry red lace corsets .

Margie used to say our sex
come spring was sinsational.
It was always harder making
love in the chill especially  
our first winter in that cold water
flat with our shivering bodies
wrapped like braided pretzels
but from nadir to apex it got hot.

She'd tease me calling me
a parasite,  a stowaway ,
overwintering in the tawny fur
above her vagina with firewood
burning in loins and we frolicked
for forty winters through thick
and thin and thaw and throes
with desire an eternal rose .

Even after losing her breasts
our libidos stayed in tune
like philharmonic strings,
nectar drenched and fluttering
like a hummingbird's wings.
Making love on the grass
like two billiards balls banging
on the green felt till the eight
ball dropped in pocket with wild
flowers dancing on her grave.

A year from the wake
in bone I feel more
like eighty than eighteen
but the nights are too long
and too cold to be alone
so I shed enough baggage,
like skin from a molting snake,
to be a stronger man to deal
with what still remains at stake
in the last steps starving men take.

But I'm no piston sleek,
aluminum and lubed,
pumping sparks
into dormant engines.
I'm no dildo drilling
at an rpm designed
to make a harem
of women come.
Like corroded pipes
my plumbing hasn't aged
well and now I'm the poster
boy for Viagara.

But still there lurks a beast
thirsting for the passion
of a woman's touch
with wet dreams the only
refuge where this love whore
seeking sexual salvation can pull
down a pair of black lace panties
with my teeth to satisfy a greed
for giving women communion
between clitoris and tongue.

My Jack longing to join Jill
at the hip on top of the hill between
the pleasures of flesh and heaven.
But the pixel pixies all pale
as echoes of Margie's hoarse
whisper beckon me from far
below in the deepest black hole
of the night to the boudoir to fuck
until orgasm brings her back
to the living or me to the dead.