agoraphobic

it's for my own good  
everybody else's safety  
and mine  
   
not goin out there anymore  
stayin right here  
with my 48 mins with a flat basketball  
6 min 6 inch steps    
back and forth the hall  
puttin the THC in    
not on anymore  
   
when it's gone  
screamin  
like a lil girl  
   
deadbolt  
bored up the windows  
zip up fly  
   
don't wanna see me  
seeing myself  
moving the curtains  
screamin  
haven't i killed you yet?  
   
sunburnt  
snowblind    
alexithymia  
some other big words  
for just not being good at things  
finger painting eyelids  
with every good push on the pupil  
nobody out  
nobody in  
   
deadbolt  
bored up the windows  
stayin in  
not much of a view    
but at least all my locks  
are on the outside