Look At You

I will not listen to the words that you said
won't let them cross my mind again
I will not be a victim of your carelessness
holding onto my heart's remnants
why is there a pain in my lungs,
as if everything I walked away from
hadn't already damaged too much?
and why, if this is closure, am I still bent?

A heavy past is what I've got to show
eyes dripping out fears from a heart grown cold
and I don't know why it feels so burdened
free but I am still hurting
when I close my eyes it all comes rushing back
the reasons I knew that I couldn't handle that
when I try to forgive and forget
it reminds me of the wounds you have left
I can't look at you, you asked me not to
guess you don't want to see the hurt you've caused
I won't look at you, I wouldn't want to
I just want to disappear, can't stay here
there's too much pain

It doesn't make sense how I'm not okay
I have seen the worst and won't return
somehow there's a dagger still buried deep
thought I was healed but it stings
why is there a hole in my hope,
as if you tore open the scars
that I had already resewed?
and why, how could I have ever, trusted you?

A heavy past is what I've got to show
eyes dripping out fears from a heart grown cold
and I don't know why it feels so burdened
free but I am still hurting
when I close my eyes it all comes rushing back
the reasons I knew that I couldn't handle that
when I try to forgive and forget
it reminds me of the wounds you have left
I can't look at you, you asked me not to
guess you don't want to see the hurt you've caused
I won't look at you, I wouldn't want to
I just want to disappear, can't stay here
there's too much pain