Just A Baby

I feel
like a small
child, constantly needing attention.

I don't
want any attention.
I just want to be alone.
Is that too much to ask?

If I rant to a friend,
said friend
sounds an alarm

"Oh no, she's depressed again!
better force as many pills as possible down her throat!
God forbid she actually feel and process her emotions
unassisted.
Quick, everyone make a scene!"

Fuck off, seriously.

I'm a grown woman,
I do not need to be monitored 24/7!
I do not need to talk to anybody!
I do not need help!
I do not need you!

I thought I could trust you
but I guess I was wrong,
as I have been several times in the past.
I should have known history repeats itself.

"I was just concerned..."

Yeah, okay.
You sure acted concerned earlier.
It's not like I wanted to talk to you or ask how you were doing.
It's not like I matter, right?
Yeah, thought so.

I'm sick and tired
of constantly walking on egg shells
just so I can appear "happy" and "normal."
Screw that, man.
That ain't me and I don't even care anymore.

And stop telling me I have no right to be mad,
that I can just take my medicine and stop acting sad,
because let me tell you,
it is not that easy.

Nothing is ever that easy.

From now on, I'm running my life like you would run a company.
If you can't contribute to my future success,
you're out.
No more personal relationships, only business.
No more emotional attachments.
I only need me, myself, and I.

I don't like humans like you.
This is warning number two.
If this happens again, I don't know what I'll do;
but let me tell you this,
it won't be pretty.

Watch it,
not because I told you to
but because
I'm now
watching you.

Just one more slip up and you're out for good.