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The only thing stronger than my urge to kill myself
Is my urge to fuck
But i never do either


I was never like the other girls

At 6
I thought about sex
While they thought about barbies

At 16 i thought about death
While they thought about college
And now, at 17

They are so full of life
And i am full of detachment

When i close my eyes at night
A scene plays out behind dark lids

He walks in and takes me
Takes off my clothes
Takes out his dick
And Ofcorse takes my virginity

We try everything
And really i am a virgin
But in my mind i am a whore
his whore
Her whore
Your whore

In this way do i experience a taste of happiness
My own depressing ecstasy

And i want my eyes to be closed forever

When they are open i face the
Pathetic
Boys who beg to take me
And they are nothing compared to
Him
Who lives behind my lids
Can i close my eyes forever
To be with him
Forever