deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Beautiful Weight
Paint her red with a touch of pink
Pay attention to what you think
Pinch her cheeks covered in ink
And smell her breath of icy mint
Take her hand in this empty room
Bring the band as we dance soon
In cosmic rays of sun and moon
Like a wildflower quick in bloom
Treat her ill, do her wrong
Trying to prove you're high born
Always regard her with self-scorn
She took the road of fields of corn
Find your love, dressed in black
Walk in rush but cover your track
Don't stop until the cloud is dark
Then pray to God, she'll come back
You have traveled a million miles
Hoping once more to see her smile
Your feet are tired and rest awhile
A lost soul, defeated and beguiled
When the cold breeze slowly lingers
You felt trap in the abyss of wonder
And the emptiness is an ice breaker
For the tame heart of the dreamer
All you can offer is your dried tears
Like acid rain pours through the years
Cloak yourself in madness you wear
And stand brave in front of spear
For the world will live tomorrow
To tell stories about Sleepy Hollow
A destitute soul of life borrowed
From the harvester of sorrow
Pay attention to what you think
Pinch her cheeks covered in ink
And smell her breath of icy mint
Take her hand in this empty room
Bring the band as we dance soon
In cosmic rays of sun and moon
Like a wildflower quick in bloom
Treat her ill, do her wrong
Trying to prove you're high born
Always regard her with self-scorn
She took the road of fields of corn
Find your love, dressed in black
Walk in rush but cover your track
Don't stop until the cloud is dark
Then pray to God, she'll come back
You have traveled a million miles
Hoping once more to see her smile
Your feet are tired and rest awhile
A lost soul, defeated and beguiled
When the cold breeze slowly lingers
You felt trap in the abyss of wonder
And the emptiness is an ice breaker
For the tame heart of the dreamer
All you can offer is your dried tears
Like acid rain pours through the years
Cloak yourself in madness you wear
And stand brave in front of spear
For the world will live tomorrow
To tell stories about Sleepy Hollow
A destitute soul of life borrowed
From the harvester of sorrow
Published 20th Aug 2014
| Edited 9th May 2019
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 0
comments 16
reads 935
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
20th Aug 2014 3:41pm
Love(ly) done!I have read some pieces where the writer puts too much focus into rhiming words than the idea hence losing track of the message but you,you did great!
warm welcome to Dup!!!
warm welcome to Dup!!!
21st Aug 2014 8:46am
20th Aug 2014 4:51pm
This was nicely done in perfect rhyming pattern...just got confused with the use of first person in the opening lines, then shifted to a second person in the middle lines as if there were three protagonists in play.
Good read, napnau...write on, kabayan!
@EngrVV
Good read, napnau...write on, kabayan!
@EngrVV
28th Aug 2014 6:18am
28th Aug 2014 9:48am
this winds its way around the mind in such a beautifully sorrowful way, demanding the use of all five physical senses, enveloping them in rich feeling, and those of the spirit and heart as well. that last stanza... remarkable.
1st Sep 2014 1:46pm
Anonymous
15th Sep 2014 1:18pm
Good stuff Nap, I especially liked the first two verses
Anonymous
20th Apr 2015 6:35pm
I swear you are breaking my heart, how a stranger can pick up on the powerful emotions in this ink, so strong like a stabbing in my chest. I admire you my friend. I feel deep compassion for your sadness but I admire how beautifuly you can put something so difficult into words.
20th Apr 2015 7:20pm
It seems I'm out of words again for your compelling comment.
If only a simple thank you can be enough to express my sincere appreciation. But "THANK YOU" form the bottom of my heart.
If only a simple thank you can be enough to express my sincere appreciation. But "THANK YOU" form the bottom of my heart.
18th Aug 2015 9:58pm
19th Aug 2015 2:03pm
29th Aug 2015 11:52am
This worked great for me except stanza 6 ... The rhyme scheme got lost.
... You felt trapped by my callous fingers
... Killing the mockingbird our only singer
... Shot the gun only meaning to wing her
I love Eminem and I could hear his beats as I read this. That verse just took from what was a solid flow.
Thanks for sharing this in the competition.
... You felt trapped by my callous fingers
... Killing the mockingbird our only singer
... Shot the gun only meaning to wing her
I love Eminem and I could hear his beats as I read this. That verse just took from what was a solid flow.
Thanks for sharing this in the competition.
3rd Sep 2015 6:00am
The pleasure is mine.
Thank you for taking time to read my piece and dropping a line.
Thank you for taking time to read my piece and dropping a line.
