got this thing on my mind.....

I got this thing on my mind that I just can’t figure out. Don’t know what it is but it’s filling me with doubt. How can I fulfill a dream that didn’t always exist? How can I put my heart into it if my hands won’t come out of a fist? I let my anger get the best of me and now I can’t focus. I can’t finish what had grabbed a hold on me. I thought I had my future planned out guess things happen for a reason, plans are always changing like the seasons. Wish life was simpler, like we are programmed to do what we’re supposed to do. Not making a life for ourselves, but following what was already planned for us. I’m lost and I don’t know what to do. I have no dreams to reach and I haven’t a clue who to be. Does Naysha even exist? Is this even really me? I got something on my mind, but I don’t know what it is. It’s filling me with despair and I just want to end it here……