3AM thoughts

He is often my 1 AM thoughts and I lie there hoping that I am his.
I replay our countless conversations, hoping they'll show me a sign.
A signal that he cares.
A symbol that maybe he views me as I view
--that he desires me the way I desire him.
I lay there for hours.
The sign never appears.
I laugh at how I even entertained the thought that he'd be thinking of me.
How dare I think I was worthy of his time.
How dare I believe that someone as beautiful as him...
...could ever care about a wreck like me