Misleading

What has happened to me,
Everything that I can remember has gone away,
There is a knife in side my hand,
Blood is evey where I look,
Though you have no respect for me,
You will fall down with me,
Why cant you understand the way that it is,
Every way I use the blade it seems not to please me,
Falling down is hard,
But getting back up is even harder,
Next time I will put a gun to my head,
Pull the trigger and im dead,
Its as simple as push a button,
Its not enough I have to suffer the pain of standing next to you,
Time has come to slit your throat,
please me it will not,
Fore I must do more,
Arange happyness can not be done,
Feel what I have done before,
You say that you loved me,
but guess what now your dead bitch,
Deal what has been give nor in your favor,
As I put that slice into your neck