I'm broken

my heart is a battered thing
and who would want it now
I know how to distrust
and how to shut you out

I was taught the lesson at
my mothers knee
that love is but a game
and man the enemy

lessons, reinforced
by the lies he told to me
I had to vie for his attention
and he made me feel so weak
emphasized my flaws and he wouldn't
set me free

sneakily, he whispered poison
in my ears
that I was less than others
and lucky he was near.

and each time I would return
to kneel prettily at his feet
soon he would remind me
who was servant
who was king

everyone else had their pride of place
and I was to scrape for crumbs
and hold the beggar's plate  

I was clingy,
I was wrong no mater what i said
my words twisted into grotesque echos
of what I thought I said.

and, now sometimes
the phantom clings
and clutches at me heart
instead of building me up
He tore me apart