deepundergroundpoetry.com
Written quickly
Drinking my last sip
I look over the rim
Of my cup and see you sit
Oh god what I could to do to you in that chair
Imagine in this bar just you and me
Bare naked in front of all to see
Who cares it's about you and me
Right on this chair I'll climb on top
And ride you like Fred astaire
Long waves of passion floating in the air
I smell booze and are sex what a lovely pair
Riding and rising dipping and sipping
Moving my hips loving that dick
This is like a real bad porny flick
Everyone watching
Our show I love performing
Up and down nice and slow dip it fast
Move my hips make it flow
Jook box playing hit it baby nice and slow
Moving and moaning until we explode
Hold the applause next act
Is on back on the pool table as matter a fact..
I look over the rim
Of my cup and see you sit
Oh god what I could to do to you in that chair
Imagine in this bar just you and me
Bare naked in front of all to see
Who cares it's about you and me
Right on this chair I'll climb on top
And ride you like Fred astaire
Long waves of passion floating in the air
I smell booze and are sex what a lovely pair
Riding and rising dipping and sipping
Moving my hips loving that dick
This is like a real bad porny flick
Everyone watching
Our show I love performing
Up and down nice and slow dip it fast
Move my hips make it flow
Jook box playing hit it baby nice and slow
Moving and moaning until we explode
Hold the applause next act
Is on back on the pool table as matter a fact..
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 1
comments 22
reads 1381
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
lol
26th Mar 2011 8:01am
'Drinking my last sip
I look over the rim
Of my cup and see you sit'
...It was the best line to begin with, exactly what happens when you look over your rim, you see him or her!
'Imagine in this bar just you and me
Bare naked in front of all to see
Who cares it's about you and me'
...haha, I wouldnt care too, would I? Its all imagination, haha.
'I smell booze and are sex what a lovely
pair'
I dont get this line, is the 'are' suppose to be there?
Everyone watching
... Including the kids? Haha
'Jook box playing hit it baby nice and
slow'
...wana make sure I enjoy to the fullest this poem, do you mind explaining this line?
'Moving and moaning until we explode
Hold the applause next act'
...you are going for another 'act' without rest? With all these scenes, your man would be having the unsteady legs of a recently born foal by now, haha.
You were at it again, even tho you said you wrote this quickly I think you killed it, never sorry for giving you a follow. You make reading so easy! Love this.
I look over the rim
Of my cup and see you sit'
...It was the best line to begin with, exactly what happens when you look over your rim, you see him or her!
'Imagine in this bar just you and me
Bare naked in front of all to see
Who cares it's about you and me'
...haha, I wouldnt care too, would I? Its all imagination, haha.
'I smell booze and are sex what a lovely
pair'
I dont get this line, is the 'are' suppose to be there?
Everyone watching
... Including the kids? Haha
'Jook box playing hit it baby nice and
slow'
...wana make sure I enjoy to the fullest this poem, do you mind explaining this line?
'Moving and moaning until we explode
Hold the applause next act'
...you are going for another 'act' without rest? With all these scenes, your man would be having the unsteady legs of a recently born foal by now, haha.
You were at it again, even tho you said you wrote this quickly I think you killed it, never sorry for giving you a follow. You make reading so easy! Love this.
0
re: lol
26th Mar 2011 11:29am
Really I was toasted when I wrote this lol...
The line about the sex yes the are belongs there..
Juke box lol Im dyslexic and I was drunk that's a bad mix
I really don't think that's a song btw
Ty for reading.. Your To nice
The line about the sex yes the are belongs there..
Juke box lol Im dyslexic and I was drunk that's a bad mix
I really don't think that's a song btw
Ty for reading.. Your To nice
I like
26th Mar 2011 1:03pm
I like this one
26th Mar 2011 1:34pm
peering through the writers eyes, you can feel the warm libation and it's almost like a dream
A beautiful, wild errant thought is what you describe. Primal.....I almost feel sorry for the guy you focus these attentions on. you weave a good story here with minimal dialogue. And yes, it reads a bit like a lusty lady somewhat "toasted" but that adds a sexiness to it.
A good read : )
A beautiful, wild errant thought is what you describe. Primal.....I almost feel sorry for the guy you focus these attentions on. you weave a good story here with minimal dialogue. And yes, it reads a bit like a lusty lady somewhat "toasted" but that adds a sexiness to it.
A good read : )
0
re: I like this one
26th Mar 2011 1:46pm
Yes it was a drunken thought I just laid it down on here and just went with it..
But sounds good to me I'd def like to experience that lol
But sounds good to me I'd def like to experience that lol
:o)
26th Mar 2011 1:39pm
Thats the kinda bar I like, lol
(Unless my mums reading this :o)
Great read :o)
(Unless my mums reading this :o)
Great read :o)
0
re: :o)
26th Mar 2011 1:47pm
O man I think that all the time about my family finding this site I would def hear a lot lol.. Ty for reading
sorry hun...
26th Mar 2011 2:18pm
But you can't rush love. This writing is so devoid of emotion, craftless, artless, even the rhyme sounds cheesy, sigh, just obviously written for shock value. I can't believe a lot actually liked it, human species are indeed doomed...
2
re: sorry hun...
26th Mar 2011 3:00pm
That's fine to each his own.. No harm nor foul.. I don't expect everyone to like what I write so it's ok.. Ty for your honesty I like real and respect you for that
shocking ...
26th Mar 2011 2:57pm
I like it.. you definitely have no problem capturing the moment (: .. no regrets of following you either (:
1
Comment
Anonymous
26th Mar 2011 11:26pm
<< post removed >>
re: Comment
27th Mar 2011 00:09am
re: re: Comment
Anonymous
27th Mar 2011 00:11am
<< post removed >>
erotica is in m y blood i ooze it along with mine and i
Anonymous
27th Mar 2011 11:13pm
<< post removed >>
re: erotica is in m y blood i ooze it along with mine and i
27th Mar 2011 11:56pm
Very good that sounds like the beginning to my next act.. Yours sounds better then mine nice job
no it takes two to tango
Anonymous
28th Mar 2011 1:25am
<< post removed >>
re: no it takes two to tango
28th Mar 2011 2:41am
Then you've never seen masturbation quiet like mine
Just watching would give you such a rise
Not letting you touch
But calling your name
Id be touching my body in a very naughty way
You'll lick your lips to what I do you'll wish you could join In
But I'll make you watch just sit on the raggedy stool
Be a good boy maybe round two ;)
Just watching would give you such a rise
Not letting you touch
But calling your name
Id be touching my body in a very naughty way
You'll lick your lips to what I do you'll wish you could join In
But I'll make you watch just sit on the raggedy stool
Be a good boy maybe round two ;)
I WON'T SAY QUIET OR QUITE
Anonymous
28th Mar 2011 10:39pm
<< post removed >>