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Never Try (A Secret House Poem)
So much promise.
So much ambition.
So much raw potential hiding inside of you.
My love.
Your soul, it's glowing.
I can see through the cracks in your heart.
That I try so hard to patch up.
No matter how often your depression clouds my efforts.
I try so hard to make your life a better place for you to live.
Your meds have tasted your lips more times than I.
But yet I listen to your stories, your poems and songs.
I listen to them and I hope to be a light in your dark.
That maybe you'll write about the way you feel about me.
About us?
Just maybe?
But it does not seem that we are meant to be.
As this ring is my ball and chain.
I love you, I need you, I want you--
To be mine.
Even if you never have the time,
to acknowledge the time I put into us.
I've tried so hard to make an impact on changing your life.
But it seems that my efforts ring failure somewhere in my heart and mind.
And as much as I want to continue to try and please you.
I'm starting to wonder if this is really worth the heartache.
If I should really try for you.
When you do not try for me.
For us.
Or did you forget that I'm here too?
Is it only I that am meant to be there and be supportive for you?
Do I have no broken dreams?
No tears to cry?
No problems?
No insecurities?
Is that all left for you to decide?
Because while I am breaking my back trying to please you.
Trying to make your life worthy of you living in.
I have been left alone to fight for myself.
Fight off your depression as well as my own.
And while I am taking care of you.
I have abandoned my own needs.
And neglected to get myself help.
While I love you.
And I want to help you.
I did not sign up to fix all your problems.
Be your crutch to help you stand.
A shoulder for you to cry on.
That is not my title, or job description.
And so I'm going to be taking my leave now.
Tell me?
Are you gonna try and stop me?
No?
I didn't think so...
So much ambition.
So much raw potential hiding inside of you.
My love.
Your soul, it's glowing.
I can see through the cracks in your heart.
That I try so hard to patch up.
No matter how often your depression clouds my efforts.
I try so hard to make your life a better place for you to live.
Your meds have tasted your lips more times than I.
But yet I listen to your stories, your poems and songs.
I listen to them and I hope to be a light in your dark.
That maybe you'll write about the way you feel about me.
About us?
Just maybe?
But it does not seem that we are meant to be.
As this ring is my ball and chain.
I love you, I need you, I want you--
To be mine.
Even if you never have the time,
to acknowledge the time I put into us.
I've tried so hard to make an impact on changing your life.
But it seems that my efforts ring failure somewhere in my heart and mind.
And as much as I want to continue to try and please you.
I'm starting to wonder if this is really worth the heartache.
If I should really try for you.
When you do not try for me.
For us.
Or did you forget that I'm here too?
Is it only I that am meant to be there and be supportive for you?
Do I have no broken dreams?
No tears to cry?
No problems?
No insecurities?
Is that all left for you to decide?
Because while I am breaking my back trying to please you.
Trying to make your life worthy of you living in.
I have been left alone to fight for myself.
Fight off your depression as well as my own.
And while I am taking care of you.
I have abandoned my own needs.
And neglected to get myself help.
While I love you.
And I want to help you.
I did not sign up to fix all your problems.
Be your crutch to help you stand.
A shoulder for you to cry on.
That is not my title, or job description.
And so I'm going to be taking my leave now.
Tell me?
Are you gonna try and stop me?
No?
I didn't think so...
Published 1st Jun 2014
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