My Soul So Cries Without

*entered in death dealer comp  
   
   
her tone too sweet, wearing my favorite thong    
 "It's only for a couple of days dear."    
smiling, she told me she wouldn't be gone long    
 whispers on the phone.. when she knows I'm near    
suspicious activity, late coming home    
 new perfume, lingerie I've never seen.. suddenly appear    
   
running in the night, trees reaching, grabbing    
 heavy legs move in slow-motion, behind me.. growling    
it's the beast again; I smell it's foulness.. close    
 turning to see, leaping with it's jaws to my throat    
falling into unlit dark, I wake.. sweating    
 smeared night, stitched shut, hardened lies set    
   
watching you,  every move, stopping, seething view    
 moaning animal, clawing his back.. you scream, "Fuck me hard!"    
playback pause.. pornographic flaw recorded new    
 my love and dreams to shards, 'til death do us part    
traitorous frenzy, faithless infidelity    
 no return, something snaps, thrashing with sanity    
   
lightless dark passing before me    
 endless time, always searching why    
my prayers unheard, asking to see    
 my heart yearns love, my soul so cries.. without    
   
"Darling, will you be home tonight, or tomorrow?"    
 polarized schemes, focused on revenge to redeem..    
my self-worth; my crushed heart feels no sorrow    
 nor guilt or shame; horrific plots to serve her murder with pain    
"I just want to surprise you with a little something."    
 slumber slides the lucid dreams, visuals bring..    
   
bruising you black and blue like a putrid cherry    
 deceit repeatedly shared with me.. you'll find me scary    
fool, epitome of regret now seen in your eyes, I'm empathy's threat    
 mirror my reflection foul, crushed vile, imperfect one    
   
brackets of fire saturated, fractured traps slapping    
 razor wire, one beating heart, vicious sex pardoned    
squeezing hard, too tight? .. crazed, your desire becomes    
 now survival, mask of betrayal, prowling primal    
from a cruel demon..    
 allow me, trim some skin, through to the light    
pliers clumsy, liars become sin's numbing nightmare, bring my fantasy    
 can you not see, feel my love?.. embrace the ecstasy    
   
snipping fingers, lingering love dripping    
 catching dirt that sponges our loving hurt    
ferocious fun, I fear your laugh, anguished sobs    
shove.. the blade.. slooow.. twist and kiss! .. oh, how I hear your prayers    
 peeling flesh back.. screams!.. "Shhh, we're almost there."    
angel of envy, demons, we're stronger without pretend.. no longer angry    
 all the others, were they worth it?.. stray lovers flirt, shifting perverse    
betrayal now forgotten, absurdly I forgive, as you'll be rotting    
 as I leave you the whore you are, carved into eternity, you are all I need.. no more    
   
lightless dark passing before me    
 endless time, always searching why    
my prayers unheard, asking to see    
 my heart yearns love, my soul so cries.. without    
   
Yes, I'd like to place an ad in the personals:    
 Lonely and lovable man, who understands    
desires a passionate woman with morals    
 monogamous relationship and trust    
sincerity, honesty with fidelity a must    
 treats his lady with respect and dignity    
sweetness, cuddling with kisses a plus    
 must be able to forgive and forget