deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Darkside
The days are getting colder
As the darkest night falls
The beauty and the death
Where hell is hiding and waiting
For the darkness to come
The brightness which kills the demons
Of course the fire won't hurt them
The storm fulfilled of murderous
As hell came to capture the ones he love
The one who he will enjoy torturing
Don't worry about the cries
Maybe you will enjoy his company
Baby close your eyes
And let the death comes
"You'll be ok," I whispered
As my demon take you home
Published 24th May 2014
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24th May 2014 7:54am
A spirit I can listen to.
There does seem to be a little discrepancy in lines six and seven--you do mean to indicate that people generally believe that light kills, or harms, demons, yes? It's not too clear here. I gather it, but it's not too clear. I mean, it states that the brightness will do them harm, but it doens't indicate clearly that that is an assumption. One gathers perhaps that it is merely an assumption from the next line, but it is a little...sloppy without indicating first that it is an assumption.
There does seem to be a little discrepancy in lines six and seven--you do mean to indicate that people generally believe that light kills, or harms, demons, yes? It's not too clear here. I gather it, but it's not too clear. I mean, it states that the brightness will do them harm, but it doens't indicate clearly that that is an assumption. One gathers perhaps that it is merely an assumption from the next line, but it is a little...sloppy without indicating first that it is an assumption.
24th May 2014 8:27pm
