'for one more day'

She
Adviced
Criticised
Mothered
That I wished
she could have left me alone.

And she did .
She died .

Without I saying goodbye.
I tried to believe it wasn't my fault
fought the emotions piling in my heart.
Tears wiped the smile in my face .

No more visits
No more phone calls
No more 'I love you son'

An illusion she created in me
That I liked who I was ,
An idea that died when she passed .

No more mothering
No more smothering ,
The things that I hated
That now I miss so much .

She could have found a way through me
But she isn't around.
In every fight she was a backup
But now I go to every fight alone,
The thing when your parents die .

Now I sit ,alone and lonesome
Remembering
Every moment of that time with her ,
I can still hear her echo
A persistent sound after the source has stopped ,
Advising ,Cricising ,mothering
          And still
Saying  'I love you son.'

For one more day
I would like to make things right again .
For one more day
I would Love to hug you forever .
For one more day
I would Love to say 'am sorry mum.'
For one more day
I would love you to be my backup
in this life struggle .
For one more day
I would Love one more conversation
One more chance
To make up for the time
I thought you will be here forever .

          AND
For one more day
I would Love to believe it
When she says it .

Ps: Don't wait for that one more day .