Mi§ery

I stumbled.
I devoted myself, blindly, to a path that I never wanted.
I made that choice, knowing that failure would again take its path.
I dropped.
I sacrificed everything...
I fell apart.
Broken and weak, I held, and stood still,
ripping through my fragile ground.
And I held, knowing I was losing the most of me.
When everything is gray and my guts scream misery.
Now I can’t handle looking at others.
I can’t deal with their happiness.

I barely recognize my own soul.
These blood-red eyes, this grim expression that can’t be my own.
I lost it all.
Time is holding me in this confused state,
playing a meaningless game of life.

I lay down waiting for my body to lose consciousness.
These endless days,
these permanent nights spent in this tormented state.  
steal all my soul.
I’m dead within.
I haven’t seen the sun in days.
I crawl around this odd place that has no silence, that never sleeps.
In this place that never leaves your mind.
The fragility...of existence.
Trusting my own lies; believing everything will be fine.
Knowing that nothing will ever be.
I await the day when there is nothing left to loose.
Then again I can find peace within my cage called life.