deepundergroundpoetry.com
love theory viii
there is that need for connection
just like she whispered to me that night
deep under her breath
and without voicing a word
to be valid (?)
to be complete (?)
something
(perhaps)
see my cock is attached to my heart
make me cum and I'm yours
stay with me
and it goes deeper
it's not just one level
you can always go deeper into the rabbit's hole
(lets fuck again)
just like she whispered to me that night
deep under her breath
and without voicing a word
to be valid (?)
to be complete (?)
something
(perhaps)
see my cock is attached to my heart
make me cum and I'm yours
stay with me
and it goes deeper
it's not just one level
you can always go deeper into the rabbit's hole
(lets fuck again)
Published 19th Mar 2011
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Anonymous
19th Mar 2011 6:31pm
I simply adore the penultimate line. This is a beautiful poem. It almost brings me to tears, the emotion is so true, the atmosphere so melancholy. I think this is more a "love" than an "erotic" poem.
19th Mar 2011 8:26pm
penultimate? quit using big words i'm retarded here :P yeah i think i'll change it to love poems category... im glad this piece touched you so deeply
Anonymous
- Edited 20th Mar 2011 11:52am
20th Mar 2011 5:27am
haha I meant the second from last line. Thank goodness you've got looks and talent, Nathan. :P
20th Mar 2011 5:31pm
I like that you have those question marks and then that 'perhaps' in the first verse, gives it this ambiguous feeling. And i think that line 'there is a need for connection' is very true. There's a real genuine feel about this one.
30th Mar 2011 2:19pm
yes these things i write about here are indeed genuine and real to me.... i especially like the last line (now that's a genuine, testosterone laden, horny male statement if I've ever written one... gotta give it all and bring em home on that last verse.
29th Mar 2011 9:30pm
'you can always go deeper into the rabbit's hole' - this line is so metaphorical and thought provoking, love it!
really great writing, from a reluctant romantic?....;)
really great writing, from a reluctant romantic?....;)
30th Mar 2011 2:15pm
reluctant..... hm.... never thought about it that way i know im a hopeless romantic.... reluctant too... perhaps (?)
