4am cognizance

Hello, painkillers
I didn’t miss you  
 
I’ve been dreaming  
of public drunkenness  
and hands on skin  
back when they were welcome  
 
I’ve been waiting on the edge
for this abyss to swallow me whole  
but it never does  
there is just this
this in between  
of not-quite-nothingness
and not-quite-something-ness
 
I can’t sleep  
4am used to rise before  
the dawn pried my eyelids open  
but now, me and four  
have become dozy acquaintances  
in the predawn darkness  
both waiting for the time to pass
into some other place  
that is better than here  
 
And yet my hungry eyes are glad  
we’ll sleep tonight  
 
© Indie Adams 2014