deepundergroundpoetry.com
Music...
The words are strong and filled with emotion,
The instruments harmonize a commotion.
The voice is desperatly crying,
The singing singer sings and keeps singing.
The background noise is muffled,
Its just me and you beloved.
Just the sound of your voice
Is enough to bring me joy
One day i hope that i may taste,
Your sweet adrenaline and not be haste.
The instruments harmonize a commotion.
The voice is desperatly crying,
The singing singer sings and keeps singing.
The background noise is muffled,
Its just me and you beloved.
Just the sound of your voice
Is enough to bring me joy
One day i hope that i may taste,
Your sweet adrenaline and not be haste.
Published 16th Mar 2011
| Edited 13th Apr 2011
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Anonymous
24th Aug 2011 7:12pm
There is an adage regarding poetry that the poet should show not tell the reader. Saying "The words are strong and filled with emotion,
The instruments harmonize a commotion.
The voice is desperatly crying,
The singing singer sings and keeps singing." is just bland. As the reader I want to feel the emotions - what are they? How are they illicited? How do the instruments harmonize a commotion? What kind of commotion? Is it joyful or rebellious? Does it crescendo or diminuendo?
Also, when you rhyme you often undermine the serious nature of a piece of writing as well as limit your word choices.
The instruments harmonize a commotion.
The voice is desperatly crying,
The singing singer sings and keeps singing." is just bland. As the reader I want to feel the emotions - what are they? How are they illicited? How do the instruments harmonize a commotion? What kind of commotion? Is it joyful or rebellious? Does it crescendo or diminuendo?
Also, when you rhyme you often undermine the serious nature of a piece of writing as well as limit your word choices.
