Depression...

So they call me depressed...
Self destructive, a mess...
Harmful to myself cause
Every day is a test.
And I fail.
Each and every day,
I don't want get out of bed cause I'm depressed.
Poison air,
I inhale.
Infected,
Mind.
I'm distressed,
And I confess.
I need help,
But who can help me?
And when I look into the mirror,
I cringe.
As an unfamiliar face appears.
Cause I’m living a life of fear.
Pretending...
I'm so tired of trying to mend my heart.
And I continue to think I'll fail at everything.
So... I never try...
Rolling around in my bed,
Sweating...
Staring in the mirror.
Cause my body is embarrassing.
Tempting myself with a razor...
It's okay,
This is the last time.
And all this sounds strange
Cause I'd really like to rearrange my face...
So I stick my head down with a pen and a piece of paper.
Maybe if I write it down it will go away...
My heart feels like an anchor...
Maybe I'll just pray..
For forgiveness cause I'm a waste.
Misplaced...
But I'm faced with two roads...
Continue living or....
Go...
But then I start thinking about those I love.
Cause I'm their prince..
I'm just having trouble finding crown...

Nik.J.Tucker