deepundergroundpoetry.com
my bloody tears..
tears of blood rain down my face, for now i see depression is a never ending race. these cuts that now are only scars, can only take you so far. my blood pours slowly down, splashing into a puddle on the ground. although those who see me dont make a sound. they just sit and stare, the truth is.. none of them really care.
Published 14th Mar 2011
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
15th Mar 2011 1:59am
"tears of blood rain down my face, for now i see depression is a never ending race."
I like that line. Depression as a race you just keep running.
I think this would better if you used line breaks after each comma and full stop. Then the rhyme which you've worked to establish would appear more pronounced.
Good poem.
I like that line. Depression as a race you just keep running.
I think this would better if you used line breaks after each comma and full stop. Then the rhyme which you've worked to establish would appear more pronounced.
Good poem.
15th Mar 2011 2:18am
Thanks.. see no one understands.. I may be 13.. but I'm not made if glass.. I love honest critique .. thank you so much..
29th Apr 2012 2:45am
