deepundergroundpoetry.com
No Gravy.
With no soul to bare your bones,
With no lake to cast your stones,
I've found no gravy within your soul.
Dry and withered,
This is your sepulture;
that a body may lay
in the gray of it's ignorance.
I've searched the expansion of your wings.
I found no color;
no depth to soar the skies with.
You are forever grounded,
Bounded.
By your own fear.
called to kiss the dirt among the Earth,
feet eternally embedded along the ignorance of life.
Let me out of this Silicone Veil,
This world is smothering the very air that I breathe,
with no sky to fly,
no resonance to sing.
Let me out, Let me in.
While I search for the gravy of your soul.
With no lake to cast your stones,
I've found no gravy within your soul.
Dry and withered,
This is your sepulture;
that a body may lay
in the gray of it's ignorance.
I've searched the expansion of your wings.
I found no color;
no depth to soar the skies with.
You are forever grounded,
Bounded.
By your own fear.
called to kiss the dirt among the Earth,
feet eternally embedded along the ignorance of life.
Let me out of this Silicone Veil,
This world is smothering the very air that I breathe,
with no sky to fly,
no resonance to sing.
Let me out, Let me in.
While I search for the gravy of your soul.
Published 10th Apr 2014
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The author encourages honest critique.
11th Apr 2014 5:50am
23rd Dec 2014 2:07pm
I loved this poem linguistically and in it's confessional spinal sentiment. But in all honesty the last line killed it for me. You sound so righteously and irreducibly fed up through the whole piece that I'm rooting for you to drop a hoisted car on the dog and crush him life a fly, but then you awkwardly pivot and regress to trying to squeeze the proverbial water from this hopeless rock and the poem runs out of steam just as it needs to explode like a nuclear star and shatter the reader with your rage . I get the ambiguity of your feeling in the end " Let me out let me in" but some how it needs more linguistic muscle and the last word Gravy is a weak metaphor for needing to have someone look into your eyes and tell you that they love you. I know the fear and desolation of that situation and the poem needs some how to give full expression to the innerness of feeling. Am I making sense? Ive always felt the last phrase of a poem can make it or break it.
10th Jan 2022 2:26pm
Absolutely! I completely agree. I think I was a teenager when I wrote this! Haha. I seriously appreciate your in depth analysis. Any metaphorical words you would suggest that paint a picture of shallow ignorance?
