Last Year

Gersain, hello to you. I was reading your work and when I saw it, I thought that I was reading a book.  I think that if you broke it down into stanza form that it would make it easier for the reader to feel your work. I am not criticizing your work. It is good and expresses your feelings freely.
I also need to reedit my work all of the time...lol

Here is what I mean by breaking it down into stanzas. Also you have grammatical errors that you need to fix. Please accept as something that I like to read.

Starting to feel the cold affection,
I don’t mean to call attention,
but hope one day you forgive me,
for all of my wrongs,
be see learning to live free,
is what made me so strong,
and I hope this day never ends,
that the sun forever sets,
that no matter how bad the weather gets,
your heart never forgets.

Amazing how all that love came from one heart,
and gave mine a jump start,
smushed a lifetime in a season,
feel in love without a reason,
guess it was just in a moment kind of rush,

I can’t say much, now that your gone,
but that for that summer you were the one,
let’s take a minute, ohh baby how you got my head spinning ,
never know who’s winning,
just know that it was you right from the beginning,
but I’m catching up but trying to back off,
pretend too not need me and act tough,
why do we do this to ourselves,
reaching new dimensions of the heart,
we were correcting our imperfections from the start,
can ever get to let you go,
because you well never get to know,
the words unsaid, feeling like the undead
because the past,
catching up way to fast,
one day you in my hearing buzzing,
thought you were the one I trust when,
I’m on my low,
just do quick, never wanna die slow,
If you can’t see why glow,
living off the ignorance,
trying to get big with this.
Wait a minute
Those things on the wall hanging,
is the same thing in my head banging,
can’t speak so I’m slanging,
man I never like drinking,
because causes over thinking,
to meet a random girl to make my heart leaking,
to come and spend a whole weekend,
of fake love and no speaking,
why try to peak when,
over here I don’t need the sneaking,
with her we can bang sober,
and end up with a hangover,
tell them peak-a-boo,
who that freak with you,
I’m just showing up for the lights,
cover by mistakes of the nights,
foreshadow my life with the glass,
man I’m acting way to fast ,
why do I do it when know there’s more to it,
and why do I fall in the gaps between your fingers,
tell me get ring her,
or might as well not bring her,
music to my ear what a singer,
treat the memories like whatever,
as long as the feelings last forever…

Starting to feel the cold affection,
I don’t mean to call attention,
but hope one day you forgive me,
for all of my wrongs, be see learning to live free,
is what made me so strong,
and I hope this day never ends,
that the sun forever sets,
that no matter how bad the weather gets,
your heart never forgets.
Living the low life,
trying to go right,
but I can’t show fright,
so I’m go with no life….

Thanks I really aprrrciate the advice and honestly I do apprciate critsism means you're being real with me