There's this girl

There's this girl...she has a name...but I'm not saying it right now...even though she has people she loves all around her...she still feels alone...not because she is but because no one gets her...she self harms yes...yes she has suicidal thoughts...but she doesn't have the courage...she has a "twin" and a group of friends...yes she has a boyfriend...
but there's this one guys that comes along and makes her rethink everything...she wants to bitch him out but when she does she apologizes immediately...she still likes him and regrets ending it with him...he doesn't understand her or what she's going through...she wants to talk to him about it like he told her to but doesn't want to bother him...
she wants to give up but doesn't want to lose anyone...she feels like nothing can help...she can't control her anger...she could kill someone if she exploded...she's bipolar,has ADHD, OCD, depression and anxiety...her counselor told her that she wasn't mentally healthy...which makes her wonder why...she's sick of one girls shit...she calls her a lesbian...she's not a lesbian so why?...her mind is a very dark place...she turned to music for help...started dressing in all black...depressions trying to take her over but she's fighting...she likes to forget her past and when it comes up she evades it...she doesn't wanna believe it...she goes by this saying though..."don't dwell on your past there's a reason it's called the past and not your future"...
And now this is where I am and who I've become...
Some people may not like it but it's me and I may not like who I've become either but this is who I've turned out to be so far...
My names Katt and this is my story so far...
I love my family and friends...
They mean the world to me...
I'm glad I have no courage though...
I couldn't lose anyone...
I like to listen to my heart sometimes...
But I can't control it at times...