deepundergroundpoetry.com
scent
I like having that
comforting natural perfume of hers near me
on me
around me
through me
I laid my head against one of her tits
and breathed her in one last time and cried quietly
as her thin shirt soaked up my tears
that's the only way I knew how to say goodbye
it's the only way I knew how to let her go
comforting natural perfume of hers near me
on me
around me
through me
I laid my head against one of her tits
and breathed her in one last time and cried quietly
as her thin shirt soaked up my tears
that's the only way I knew how to say goodbye
it's the only way I knew how to let her go
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likes 5
reading list entries 2
comments 10
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The author encourages honest critique.
...brilliant
1st Mar 2011 2:32am
its beautiful and full of emotion and pain which i can feel dwelling in my heart when i imagine me in the situation.
The scent of a lover and quietly crying on her because its too hard to say goodbye and because words cant speak how much your heart will ache ? WOAH.. that itself is a powerful image.. i didnt think words could portray what that much emotion looks like but you hit it right on target.
youve written with an honest open heart. One of your best pieces yet ( in my opinion ofc)
keep it up Nate.
The scent of a lover and quietly crying on her because its too hard to say goodbye and because words cant speak how much your heart will ache ? WOAH.. that itself is a powerful image.. i didnt think words could portray what that much emotion looks like but you hit it right on target.
youve written with an honest open heart. One of your best pieces yet ( in my opinion ofc)
keep it up Nate.
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re: ...brilliant
1st Mar 2011 3:11am
wow thats a really nice compliment. im glad you like it so much. im glad you convinced me to post it. idk if others will be so kind since theyre used to my rape and pedophile shit. yes i was very open in this one. makes me quite vulnerable. thanks so for the uplifting words
i think
1st Mar 2011 2:01pm
this is so tender, and cold, hard vulnerability makes for great poetry. you didn't flower it up, (true to your style) and it stands on its own comfortable in the character. i really like this one, i think it's one of your best too. freeing yourself in this direction (as well as all the others you've freed in your poetry) is growth as an artist! how about that? [:
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re: i think
1st Mar 2011 4:20pm
thank you... this isn't the first time I've been vulnerable with the written word.. i chose to show du my harsh side first thats what most people seem to appreciate.. submitting this is just showing all of you that im versatile with words as i am with music and art as well... i dont like artists draw only within the box theyve painted themselves into... i dont like writers who repeat themselves all the time... theres so many possibilities... theres so much that can potentially manifest from the painters thumb... endless possibilities... no everything has not been done... i dont agree with that common quote... theres plenty more out there... the 10th dimension is not upon us... we still have a few tricks up our sleeves.. ill keep reinventing myself and exploring.. stick around for the next platue :D
...
1st Mar 2011 8:36pm
That phrase 'the only way' repeated like it is always makes it feel like my heart is being tugged out every time I read it. <3
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re: ...
1st Mar 2011 9:49pm
re: re: ...
2nd Mar 2011 2:08pm
Re: scent
28th Dec 2012 00:57am
ou expressesd so much emotions in such short words. Beautifully written. Strong, gentle and sweet. I loved it.
0
re: Re: scent
29th Dec 2012 1:35am
and heart wrenching ... takes a lot of pain to be able to write the emotion.... thank you for the kind words.. cheers