untitled again.

I don't want to go to work,
You've followed me there too.
I don't want to go into the office,
In case I have to see you,
Avoiding my eyes.

I don't want this pain anymore,
The pain of knowing I love you
Because I'm stubborn,
Won't stop loving you,
But can't keep doing it.

Not under your spell anymore,
I say, as your once upon a time words hypnotise me.
Blame it on something like me smoking.
If I don't, I'll feel repulsive.

I do feel repulsive,
Haven't been able to look myself in the mirror,
Without snarling,
At the monster that stares back at me.

I loved you too much,
I wasn't distant enough,
I was too eager, to spend a life hating you.
I made my bed of thorns,

You make me lay in it.