What I carry

I carry a lighter to kindle my therapy,
So I may burn my problems away.
I carry a heavy heart,
In a cage-like penitentiary.
I carry the blood of alcoholism,
Prone to every addiction.
I carry low self-esteem,
My primary affliction
I carry countless knives half sheathed into my back,
From all the cowards incapable of finishing what they've started.
I carry optimism for what my future holds.
At least I did, before it all departed.
I carry ink stained skin,
Over & under scarred tissue.
I carry an obsessive mind,
Dwelling restlessly on each issue.
I carry regret,
From love lost to life.
I hold to myself
An ongoing strife.
The list goes on
With things that vary
From bad to worse.
What do you carry?