Still Drowning?

What do you do?
     When you’re drowning on dry land?
What am I supposed to say to make you understand?
     I’m falling through heaven
           And walking through hell,
But my eyes are frozen,
           In a deep dry spell.

The names I call, ---
Only bastards hear.
Speaking with demons,
It’s the angels I fear

Still drowning on dry land
Struggling with both hands
It’s the little things I can’t stand
The forgotten rights, the little wrongs
Still drowning, but dealing with people,
I know I won’t be long

I shall never need to confess aloud
As long as I know me, myself and I
And all I feel or felt.
--- As long as I hear my soul’s whispers,
--- Never shall I speak to the wind’s.
The door to my heart
Has been forever unhinged.
But no one’s has dared,
To walk right in.
So I guard my castle walls
And fight battles I know won’t win.

Past the point of no return, Still drowning –
My screams go unheard
Whether they’re drowned by
The wind or my words – some things-
I guess, --- I’ll never learn.
Like, for example, is love gained or earned?
Can trust ever be returned once broken?
Or twice or a third?

Some things though I already know
Like, for example, it takes an eternity
     ---to drown on dry land