deepundergroundpoetry.com
Overbite
By age 5 you knew what blood was
By age 7 you knew how to use your jaw
By age 9 you knew how to make it a drawing
By age 11 you knew he had probable cause
By age 13 you knew just how to use your claws
By age 15 you knew how to get applause
By age 17 you knew how to do it just becuase
By age 19 you knew how to escape the laws
By age 21 you knew not how to drop the sauce
And to just let go, There was a whole body to show
But nobody knew so you yell at us for not havin' a clue
You woo the wrong dudes and wear the wrong suits
Tubes and shutes are a second nature to you
But freedom of mind isn't something you contain inside
So you puff a line and forget some times
But hindsight is 20/20, no way you forget about that bunny
It was funny back then now it's suddenly a sin
And you can't get your sod locked, just mob cocked
Pumped full of youth, Out of your head you head home
Back to where you don't belong, You're fucking wrong
By age 7 you knew how to use your jaw
By age 9 you knew how to make it a drawing
By age 11 you knew he had probable cause
By age 13 you knew just how to use your claws
By age 15 you knew how to get applause
By age 17 you knew how to do it just becuase
By age 19 you knew how to escape the laws
By age 21 you knew not how to drop the sauce
And to just let go, There was a whole body to show
But nobody knew so you yell at us for not havin' a clue
You woo the wrong dudes and wear the wrong suits
Tubes and shutes are a second nature to you
But freedom of mind isn't something you contain inside
So you puff a line and forget some times
But hindsight is 20/20, no way you forget about that bunny
It was funny back then now it's suddenly a sin
And you can't get your sod locked, just mob cocked
Pumped full of youth, Out of your head you head home
Back to where you don't belong, You're fucking wrong
Published 24th Feb 2011
| Edited 13th Mar 2011
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The author encourages honest critique.
13th Mar 2011 1:33am
13th Mar 2011 1:37am
Stunning, everything until the last line 'You're no longer alive' is a little obvious after 'Your life was over' Maybe pack a bit more punch and twist into that last line.
13th Mar 2011 1:40am
Thank you. And about the last line; I wrote 2 versions of this piece, and I wasn't sure which ending to use. I just might use the other ending now.
