Dear Mother

Dear Mother
You say you love your daughter but I'm a manifestation of your sin you try to hide
Your failed attempts at fixing me to be the perfect child but you were never good at architecture.
When people ask you about me what do you tell them?
That I'm just a black sheep waiting to be sheared and painted but always manage to jump the fence
I'm stronger than the chains you try to bind me with but how would you know;
When you don't even know my date of birth, the day I was cursed to be yours
An old doll waiting to be sold to a thrift store, I sit in the shop window and watch the happy families walk by.
Girls take me and try to make me look beautiful. Pots of lies smeared on my skin to hide my imperfections.
I am everything they want to be and nothing I want.
Mother, answer me this; did the inexistence of a father figure suck away your compassion?
Did he steal your powers to love that a mother should give unconditionally?
Did he beat the 3 words out of your soul for them to never be spoken again?
Did it make you feel better mother when you burned the feelings I bled onto the page so you never had to know what you put me through?
I've been losing sleep sitting here and thinking of what we could have been
I've swung my heart at you and you smash it like a conker.
Your eyes pierce my innocence and you sell me to the waters, drowning me in sorrow that isn't my responsibility.
I'm just a child, what am I supposed to do with this burden on my shoulders?
Watch me burn in mistakes fuelled by your lack of upbringing. Wails of hurt were the only song you taught me.
You can sing a lie but if I lose myself I'll latch onto any living soul;
So mother; don't blame me when you meet the woman who I call 'Mum'.