Blank canvas

A blank canvas
For me to do with what I please

I begin my design
Relatively with ease

And half way through
I stop mid stroke
For there's nothing in front of me
No lines
no squiggles
Not even a mark

Do I restart ?

It's more empty than before I started
I look down to the supplies
And wonder
Did I discard them ?
And then I remember

I'm not even an artist

So I leave the canvas
Standing propped on it's easel
Grab a fresh page
And words start to tease me

I write my first word
Again relatively with ease
Need to find a way
To condense
And let Demond's
breath

I start furiously marking the page with black ink
The structure of words
Are starting to link

Then half way through
I stop mid sentence

As the page is blank
It holds nothing
No Contents

It's plainer
It's crisper
Than before I started

Panicked and furious
Feeling a little faint hearted

How is it the ink and page
Separated , departed

I have no paint left .... Started with a full tin
I have no writing tools
Not a skerrick of ink

And in an instant
I blink

My energy sinks
My mind boggles as it thinks


My dreams are telling me
My mind needs some release
There is a background there
Haunts me even in sleep

Weaknesses in me

Their all trying to find a way out
All banding together
To break me I gather

So when I awake
I'll have a new fuse

release the monsters
Another day to
To improve

The sun rises
And so do I

The canvas
The paper
The paint
And the ink

They all existed
They're how my expression drinks

Like a leech to blood
Again the instinct kicks in
And I've found my outlet
My way to deal with the shit

So I mix colours so vibrant
Splash in written words on the page

I start getting excited
It's how I engage

Beautiful moments
Monsters and torment

Blurred lines
Visions of darkness
With colourful likeness

Then I bundle the lot
Build a big welling hole
And bury the project
Deep under cement

Content
The release exhausting
Spent
But with an new day
New energy

One day ill dig all of it up
And look at the mess
I got myself through

Proud as punch

I'm me
It's true .....

My love , my virtue

Mean as much to me
As yours do x