Something More

just need something more
to make the tip of each finger
shock with static through every
dull nerve, to send the heart racing
with every drop of rich blood
to make every tear sparkle and splash
on impact so crying can seem less
pathetic, just need something more
to make bad habits feel glamorous
to die in a bed of gold, the nostrils
cocaine laced as the lungs are blackened
and the liver is withered with a touch of
grace, just a taste of sweetness
just a spoonful of sugar
to keep the blood flowing
so the mind can race at a pace
beyond sound and light
every thought sharp, piercing
through layers upon layers
of unspoken words, stabbing every letter
constructing the meaning of life
in one single profound sentence
a flag for every cross to bare
every pierced or slit wrist to hope
in at least a moment where the shades
of gray becomes a vivid color perceived
by rapid eyes in a lucid dream
just need something more so it won't
seem like these moments are just
a pointless dance between the hands
of the hours and minutes wasted
through every crossed out day
on a calendar which explains
exactly how empty the year was
as I lie naked on the same bed
as the reflection, plain and empty
in a mirror before me, behind a locked
bathroom door, convincing me
that with just something more
everything will be okay