A Bullet Away From Happiness

you thought that i didn't need help?
you thought that me acting out of anger to hide my pain was some kind of show and tell?
you thought i was trying to be 'cool' and 'cowardly' like everybody else?

did you actually think that i wasn't serious?
like, cutting myself a few years back was just me trying to get attention!
like shit, are you fucking kidding?

i gave you plently of signs
i even told you that i was tired of trying and crying
tired of preteding like everything was alright

like getting physically, emotionally and mentally abused by your mother for 7 years was just fine!

well mom, looked what happened
your daughter has turned into something worse than what you could've imagined

i guess you were too caught up with your life to notice that me telling you i wanted to kill myself wasn't me crying out for help

i guess you tried to do everything you could to keep me happy
well mom, Ivory wants to put a bullet through her brain
is that a better description of how this is all about to happen?!

did i actually have to get a gun and put it to my head to make you fucking listen?!
did i need to draw you a picture like a little fucking kid?
i could've drawn a stick figure hanging by a rope
would that have been easier for you to understand?!

well mom, it's too late
once this bullet goes through my brain it'll take away the pain
kinda like ibouprofen or novacane

now what do you wanna say?
you can't say shit because it's too late!

you should've listened other than saying the shit you said
now i bet you wish would've listened to me other than ignoring me instead!

well mom, do you think i'm 'cool' now?  

tell me mom, do i look like 'cool' going into the ground?

you can't say anything can you?!
the obituary left you speechless

you didn't think i could take my life away

i bet you didn't think i was this damaged