The times ive been mistaken for a girl...

Times I’ve Been Mistaken For A Girl

1. Ever since I wad tall enough to reach the phone perched and mounted against my wall, I was old enough to answer it. And every time I did, I was always greeted by somebody on the other end calling me “ma’am.” And for the longest time, I thought they were saying man because I was cool and hip, man.
2. When entering high school, I found a correlation between girls finding I was cute and long swishy hair so I grew my hair out like how optimists never cut their dreams down or how dreamers never trimmed their hopes short but this lions mane became and remained a gender mystery to some store owners asking my girlfriend and I “So. How are you ladies doing tonight?”
3. I was always a crier. And with a brother manlier and tougher than I, it wouldn’t be strange to hear “shut up or buck up.” Uncomfortably familiar with loneliness. Hearing “Stop being a girl” was a terrible mantra that I just got used to like “I will never amount to anything” or “I will die alone.”
4. The very far from the truth, my mom believes gay to be synonymous with the feminine so it wouldn’t be odd for her to question my sexuality due to the clothing I wore or how much time I spent on appearances. “Why don’t you go do boy things?” “How are you going to take care of your wife?”
5. When my father found out that sometimes I like looking at boys, he told my mother that he lost a son and I can’t help but think about my sister who’s
6. My mother always complained about having two sons and no daughters.
7. My sister was born in May of 1991 but
8. Died three days after her birth due to complications.
9. My mother didn’t want to have any more children after that but
10. My father said he had a feeling and I don’t know what that feeling was but I think it was
11. That he wanted to have another daughter.
12. I didn’t come out the way they expected.
13. I think I was a failure before I was even conceived.
3. I was always a crier.
14. I was always so mad at myself for being so sensitive.
15. Why wasn’t it okay to play house with the girls?
16. I was never good at cops and robbers.
0. I was a disappointment before I even began.
12. I didn’t come out the way they expected.
12. I didn’t come out the way they expected.
12. I didn’t come out the way they expected and now I’m at some very bull of a number wondering if it still makes a difference. My hair is shorter. My voice is deeper. And I still might not do things a boy does. Instead, I do things a person does.